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10 Things I’d Change About Myself

I really enjoy taking it back to the original theme of my blog and compiling lists of 10 things. Lists make me feel like I’m being organised, when in actual fact, I’m the least organised person you’re ever likely to meet.  It’s a miracle I make it through the day without a huge disaster occurring.  Although, that’s not to say I don’t evade disaster on occasion.

Before I begin, allow me to explain a couple of things. Firstly, I’m not an insecure type of person.  I’m quite confident, hopefully not in an arrogant way, but having weathered many a storm over the years, I guess this has encouraged me to build up quite a thick exterior.  I know there are people around me who think I am too hard a person at times, too cynical, too unforgiving but that my friends, is called a defence mechanism.  It serves a purpose and deep down I’m of the opinion we all have our own defence mechanism, which comes in different forms.  Mine just happens to be a hard exterior.  Knock that wall down though and I’m soft as shit.  If I like you, that is.

The thing is, this list of traits, physical attributes and quirky little mannerisms aren’t always something I’d change. By and large they serve me well, however, sometimes I exasperate myself with certain behaviours and know I’ve been too harsh, silly and irresponsible.

So, without further ado, let’s totally annihilate my character.  Just for the fun of it.

10. Jealousy

I’m open about my jealous side. Although I never used to be.  My jealous streak has changed over the years.  As a teen I’d be a jealous partner in a relationship, however, now I’m the total opposite.

These days my jealous side tends to rear its head with the following:

House envy

Clothes envy

Body envy

Hair envy

Job envy

Talent envy

Relationship envy

Envy is probably the best way to describe it. I hate how envious I sometimes feel towards someone who has got something I haven’t.  And I wonder sometimes, how conducive to good wellbeing it is.  Of course envy is natural, but let us not forget it’s also listed in the 7 Deadly Sins!

9. Patience. Or lack of.

Yeah I’ve got a serious lack of patience for a lot of things. A late bus will DRIVE ME MAD. I’ve never been the most patient of people, I get a bit twitchy if I’m waiting for something, the old right leg starts going, which drives he indoors mad.  Perhaps, I need to start taking deep breaths or something.

9. My accent

I’d do anything to change my accent. I’m very aware of it.  However, there are occasions, for comedy reasons I guess, where I’ll really ham it up.  On a day to day basis though, I’d love to have a real neutral speaking voice. I never listen to my own voice played back; it’s like nails down a chalkboard for me.  I’m afraid sounding like Vicky Pollard on helium isn’t the most attractive trait to have.

7. Possibly my cynicism

The reason I put possibly is because there are times I’m quite glad I’m cynical. I wasn’t always as cynical as I am now, but as I mentioned earlier, certain life events, people I’ve met, even things that happen in the world, have left me feeling a little too cynical at times.  And while this often is a positive, it’s also left me being quite the pessimist at times.  Something I’m keen to work on.

6. My fear of learning to drive

I’m nearly 31 and I can’t drive. My reliance on public transport, my Dad, friends, Wes etc. etc. is getting a bit embarrassing now.  I just need to build a bridge and get the fuck over it.

5. My short eyelashes

I’ve never been blessed with lusciously long lashes. My son, however, has been blessed.  See point 10.

Back in 2010 I felt like my prayers had been answered with an innovative beauty treatment; eyelash extensions. However, after 2 years it soon became apparent I had to give my weak, depleted lashes a break.  Eyelash strips became my new best friend, a day wouldn’t go by where I wouldn’t be adorning them.  Sadly, they’ve never really recovered from years of abuse, thus I now save my false eyelashes for special occasions.

4. Being easily distracted

My school reports always read as “would do well if she applied herself, gets easily distracted”. And that’s still the case 20 years on.  I could be watching something on TV and I’ll be playing on my phone.  I can’t even walk in a straight line without tripping over because I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing.

3. My nose

I haven’t included this one so you can go “ah, but your nose is fine”. I don’t want to hear it.   I’ve spent 31 years with this nose, and I know it better than anyone.  It’s not symmetrical, it’s too wide and too long.  It also has a weird bump on it.  If I could afford it (i.e. my credit card wasn’t maxed out) then a trip to the plastic surgeons wouldn’t be off limits.  I don’t want anything dramatic, don’t worry, I wouldn’t go all MJ on you, but I’d just like it not to dominate my face quite so much.  I’m not happy with my side profile.  AT ALL.

The size of it mind.

2. My ability to spend money like it’s water

I have a serious problem when it comes to spending money. I just can’t help myself.  If it’s in my account, purse, coat pocket, then it’s there to be spent.  On any old crap.

My credit card took a serious bashing in 2016, mainly because all of my 30th birthday celebrations (it was the Duracell Bunny of Birthdays, it went on and on and on).  It’ll take me until my mid-thirties to pay it all off.  Still, you can’t put a price on memories can you? Although try convincing my other half of that.

1. How quickly I go off people

My friends would describe me as loyal (I hope), however, it doesn’t take much for me to change my opinion on someone.   I could go from thinking the sun shines out of someone’s backside to basically thinking they’re the devil incarnate with just one conversation.  I don’t forgive easily.  And despite the fact I’ve been given more than a second chance on occasion, I’m not quite as good at reciprocating this.  Again, this probably comes back to the defence mechanism I’ve relied upon in recent years.  I don’t suffer fools gladly and I can spot fakery a mile off.

So, there you have it. A comprehensive list of my negative points.  I certainly have a few things I need to work on.

Make me feel a little better about myself and enlighten me with the things you’d like to change about yourself perhaps? Even if you have to make something up.

This Post Has 14 Comments

  1. I cant drive either, and living in the sticks as I do this is a real pain in the arse sometimes but at 43 I know its not going to change now.

  2. Well at least you are self-aware! I have some similar traits – envy, easily distracted, spend money like water. I guess we all have our bad sides. Now you really ought to write a post about your good bits to, for balance and stuff. Thanks for linking up to #eatsleepblogrt. Hope you come back next week.

  3. Im 30 and dont drive and my excuse of living right next to a train station is wearing thin. I also need a haircut… like i think i had a fringe trim within the first three months of pregnancy so its been 2 years since scissors touched my fringe let alone my horrendous split ends!!! Lastly my personality is like marmite, but i think id like to be nutella. a little bit naughty but everyone loves it! oh god i cannot believe i compared my perfect personality to a spread hahaha #EatSleepBlogRT

  4. I can’t drive either, and I’m 31 this year. It is embarrassing, you’re right. It’s on my to-do list for this year. There’s no way I can have another kid and not be driving. #dreamteam

  5. Haha I love this list – recognising your flaws is a great show of character I reckon. I’m intrinsically lazy and yet want to have everything – the clean house, hot body, blogging hobby and un-bored child. I feel like I’m fighting against this laziness every day, which makes me want to be even more lazy. It’s exhausting! #dreamteam

  6. How did I know by clicking on Vicky Pollard it would be you! I do hope you didnt try and swap your little boy gor a westlife cd! And your nose is fine!! I have one nostril bigger than the other which Ella and Paul find hilarious to laugh at me about. Wankers!! #bestandworst

  7. Fab list. I would change a lot of the same things about myself as you.
    I’m 37 and I am scared of learning to drive too….It’s other people on the roads which worry me. I get road rage just in a passenger seat. lol I think it’s for the best that I stick to public transport.
    I would love to be confident and less insecure.
    #bestandworst

  8. Totally with you on the driving thing. I started learning at 19 and freaked the hell out thinking “why in God’s name would anyone put themselves through this?” I quit, and didn’t start again until I was 27, at which point it then took me 2 years to pass my test. I now drive (under duress), but only to places where I know the route and have practiced what lane to get in beforehand. It is not a joy – not one little bit! As for number 9 – You are not impatient. You, my lovely, are “busy”! 😉 Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

  9. Janine

    I can relate to a lot of these. For starters I’m not too keen on my nose either. I used to get called ski-jump at school. I have everything envy and at 35 I still can’t drive although it’s not for a lack of trying. I failed 5 tests in my early twenties but I’ve now decided maybe it’s time for another go so I’m currently saving but I’m going to try an automatic this time.

    #bestandworst

  10. I would like a smaller nose. Mine is a huge conk and I would love it to be smaller. I’m also working on the distractions thing as I am a nightmare! As always, love reading your posts. Always make me smile! I quite like your accent by the way! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  11. I can relate to a lot of these. I used to be really patient, then I had kids. I learnt to drive at 31, it took lots of horrendous public transport with a pushchair incidents to finally persuade me. I can instantly make you feel better about your nose by sending you a picture of mine, I can’t actually see a bump in yours but mine is huge! I also have really crooked teeth and get so self-conscious when I smile. I’m gradually learning not to give a shit though x
    #Bestandworst

  12. LOL If you really want to change your nose just do it. I have always repeated that if we don`t like some things about ourselves then we should change them. I have been saving money for my nose job for 2 years. But I want to change it so there was no other way. My parents told me that they won`t give me money for the surgery so I have to save them. But trust me, every dollar that I have spent for this surgery was worth it. Dr. Samuel Ho has done an amazing job and I will be thankful all my life. He recommended making a little journey before having the surgery. This was brilliant advice because when the time came I was in a great mood and rested. However, I wish this list that you have called “things I would change”‘ to become “Things I have changed” XOXO

  13. Hi Rachel, you may know me as @RandallAndrews1 on Twitter. Just finished reading this, and, can’t tell you enough that there are several things on this list that are similar to myself. The jealous/envy not so much, don’t really care what other people have. Patience, I don’t think your problem is actually patience as it is not wanting to be late. That’s me in a nutshell. Even when there is PLENTY of time to get somewhere, I will still leave way earlier, just in case there is a problem. I could actually envy your accent since you live in the UK. I love that accent, it doesn’t matter. It’s great! Cynicism, well, I’m a bit cynical myself, toward the Retail world, considering I work in it. That is probably spot on for me. Your nose is cute as a button. Yeah, that’s right, blush, cause I just flattered you about your cute little button nose. Spending Money like water…That’s me. Anyone I know, knows I spend money as fast as I make it. Then they wonder where I spent it on. Food, nerd stuff, comics and podcasting. Constantly! I get you totally. Lastly for me, going off on people, it isn’t so much an issue for me, however, when someone messes up my perfectly normal routine schedule, I get really ticked off! Can’t help it. I like my routine to stay the same. Okay so rant done, you are smart, sexy, wonderful, and alluringly beautiful. So if you need to vent to someone, message me on Twitter. I know we will get along just fine. You sweet thing.

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