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10 Things I’ve Learnt Since Turning 30.

I turn 31 this weekend.

Last year was spent celebrating/commiserating my change of decade, this year my Birthday will pass without much recognition. 31 is such a boring age.  Such a boring number.

I have, however, learnt a few life lessons since turning 30 last May and I’d like to take this opportunity to impart my little pearls of wisdom with you.  Perhaps you can relate or perhaps (likely) I’m totally on my own with these.  Who knows!

10. If I can’t walk in heels at 30 then I’ll never be able to.

I’ve never been the most graceful of women. I watch with pure envy as other females glide down the street in their heels whilst I’m lagging behind drop footing all over the shop and getting my heel stuck in a drain.  I once thought practice would make perfect and that one day I’d have it licked, sadly, if anything, it’s getting worse.  I actually think Mr Blobby wearing a pair of skyscrapers would look more like Gigi Hadid strutting down the catwalk than I ever would.


9. I’m unsociable

I’ve spent more time in my bed than anywhere else over the last 6 months and I make no apology for it. It takes a lot to get me out these days and in light of an incident that took place recently, it’s probably for the best.

When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be

8. Smoking is vile

Giving up smoking is one of my most proud achievements to date.  Along with abstaining from chocolate for a month.  The latter being the most difficult.

If someone happens to smoke near me then my face begins to contort and I find myself tutting loudly thus proving the adage that ex-smokers actually hate smoking more than non-smokers.

7. Confidence grows

I do actually feel more confident at 30 than I did at 29 and I’m not really quite sure why.  A friend and I were discussing a similar subject yesterday, we concurred that you realise you don’t need lots of people in your life once you reach your thirties.  Being surrounded by numerous people doesn’t validate you in any way.

I feel comfortable that I am who I am, and dare I say it, I actually quite like myself and if someone doesn’t like me for whatever reason then that’s fine, I probably wouldn’t like them either!

Quality over quantity every time. 

6. I can’t be arsed

I’d sooner go to work wearing not a scrap of make-up these days than lose 15 minutes of Twitter Time on the bus. I just cannot be arsed.  This is me, accept me as I am, freckles and spots galore.

Yes, that’s something else I’ve learnt, bad skin isn’t just limited to your teens and/or twenties.  Is there actually anything good about getting older?

5. Grey hairs are an actual thing

In my naivety, I used to think they were a myth. Despite my Mum going grey in her early twenties.

In fact, I’m finding that many new grey hairs at the moment that by my reckoning I could be totally grey by next Saturday.

4. I’m more cynical

I’ve cheated a little with this one because my cynicism has actually increased since I became a Mum nearly 4 years ago. However, since entering my fourth decade on planet Earth I’m even more cynical.  If that’s possible.

It sounds bad but I actually find myself assuming that everyone I meet is fake or an arsehole until proven otherwise. Keep your expectations low and you won’t be disappointed.

3. Honesty is the best policy

Except if someone asks you whether their arse looks big in an item of clothing. Probably best to pay lip service then.

2. My metabolism has slowed the fuck down. In fact it doesn’t move.

Much like the number on the scales, unless it’s going the way I don’t want it to of course.

I’ve really tried to emulate the success I had with losing weight in my mid-twenties WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO SUCCESS.  I’ve tried to copy how I did it back in 2011 and 2012 and it just doesn’t seem to work, leaving me to accept that I’ll never be a size 8-10 again.

I might as well just stick all the lovely clothes that collect dust in my wardrobe on eBay and allow some skinny bitch to enjoy them instead.

1. I’m a lightweight.  A massive lightweight.

I’m attributing this to the fact I hardly go out these days. See number 9.

I had a rather embarrassing incident a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been hesitant about publishing but you know me and my love of oversharing so here goes. Allow it to serve as a warning if nothing else.

I can count on my left hand the amount of times I’ve been out of an evening since Christmas, in fact the aforementioned embarrassing incident was the 3rd time since December 2016 that I have been out drinking.

I’d not eaten much during the day in question, and I’d not been feeling too well either, however, being the trooper I am, I powered through and went out regardless.

Initially, it was to be date night (hate that wanky saying and hate myself even more for using it), but then Wes conveniently remembers his mates are out so we decide to head to Bath and meet up.

It didn’t take long for disaster to strike. Probably about 3 hours.  I wouldn’t know exactly, for reasons I’m about to outline.

Usually, I can tell when I’m shitfaced. It’s a relatively slow progression from tipsy to off my fucking face and I need to go home now type inebriation.  However, this Saturday night it was different.

One minute I’m sat on a stool, the next I’m on the floor of All Bar One (sorry to the staff) in a crumpled heap. I can’t really remember much else after this but I know an ambulance was involved.  As was vomit.  A lot of vomit.

The next day I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. So much so I phoned the Ambulance switchboard number and left a grovelling apology.

I then had to call my Mum and issue an apology to her too. Wes had rang her whilst I was throwing up in the back of an ambulance.  Nothing like an almighty bollocking from your dear Mother at the grand old age of 30 and three quarters to make you realise just how irresponsible you are.

Thankfully there are no photos of the fateful night (at least I hope not, I was convinced a Daily Mail pap might be loitering, they love a good pissed up prick making a tit of themselves on a bank holiday weekend) so this is another photo from another night of over-indulgence.  You’d think I’d learn wouldn’t you.

This Post Has 53 Comments

  1. Tracey

    I’ll be turning 38 in two weeks and I think the 30s are definitely an eye opener, and I am still learning to walk in heels, don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of it! ?

    1. Mayuri

      I loved reading this! Honest and funny both! With each passing year I cross life, and my confidence keeps getting better ;-D

  2. I laughed so hard while reading this! I’m turning 34 in two weeks and it just gets weirder and weirder the further into 30 you go! #GlobalBlogging

  3. HA! Just wait until your 40’s! But you are SO right! Your confidence keeps growing (as do the grey hairs)! And you know what? Screw the heels! They are over rated! #GlobalBlogging

  4. Ha ha! You just have to laugh about it. And embrace it. I can’t even remember my life at 31, sorry. And I don’t think I feel any different in my head 15 years later, although the body is certainly reminding me that things are different.

    BTW, this American wants to know what “I just cannot be arsed” means?


  5. I am 30 and don’t even look at heels in the shoe store because I know I can’t use them haha. Makes shoe shopping a lot easier, though. Sorry to hear about your unfortunate incident with drinks. #globalblogging

  6. 35 here and while there are many ways my 30s are not as good (as listed above), there are far more reasons they are fabulous! 1: I give a lot less f*cks; 2: I have more confidence. That is all.

  7. Tubbs

    I’ve never learnt to walk in heels! Why wear shoes that hurt your feet?!

  8. Haha. Thanks for sharing! I am only 25…but I can relate to this! I have become a creature of comfort. I can’t be bothered doing things that I don’t want to do anymore – wearing uncomfortable shoes, going out when I’m tired, trying to spare peoples’ feelings, etc. 🙂

  9. haha so many true things in here and I used to think that smoking was cool and I loved it! Being a size 8 is a far away dream too… #globalblogging

  10. Haha! I think 30’s are a big game changer. You suddenly feel ‘grown up’ yep to grey hairs, yep to bad skin and yep to being antisocial. I definitely feel more confident now I’m in my 30’s than I was in my 20’s. I think it’s a case of caring less what others think and having a bit of life experience behind you x

  11. Yes, to all of these except #10 (I do love a good pair of heels). So much of it comes down to not giving a rat’s ass about what people think anymore. I didn’t much before I was 30 either, but there was something about 30 where you just feel like the weight of other people’s opinions are just lifted off your shoulders. That’s how I felt at least. #globalblogging

  12. YES! Grey hairs and the metabolism slowdown. But enjoy your 30s. ? Remember, you are never as young as you are now. #globalblogging

  13. Oh this made me laugh. Grey hair and age, who knew it would cause such emotion. I agree with so much of this. I think the can’t be arsed, smoking, confidence and honesty comes from knowing yourself and not having to compromise on who you’re anymore. #GlobalBlogging

  14. Haha, great list. You loose some skills and acquire new ones. Once I was able to run in high heels, drunken. Nowadays can catch projectile baby vomit. #globalblogging

  15. Haha this is brilliant a all very true for me too (30 in December). I thought I wasn’t such a liability going out until my christmas do a couple of years ago. #globalblogging

  16. Wait till you get even older. Everything just multiplies. Hangovers = exruciating. Weight loss = impossible. But the best thing about it is you just don’t care what anyone thinks anymore, and like you say, you don’t need so many people and those you do choose to have in your life, are really really bloody brilliant. #globalblogging

  17. I couldn’t stop giggling at this post, I needed a giggle this morning. Haha. I will be the big 30 this year and I can’t help but feel I’m already there will most of your little anecdotes. Haha. #BestAndWorst

  18. I’m turning 29 in a few weeks and can safely say I’m pretty much already with you on most of the above!! I just don’t have the mental capacity for pretty much any of that shit anymore! Love this post, and roll on 30 I say! #BloggerClubUK

  19. You never fail to make me smile Rachel! I am absolutely loving my 30’s – mainly for the fact that I can’t be arsed any more. I’m glad you mentioned the shoes, I thought that was related to having had a baby 9 months ago, but now I think about it the problem seemed to set in three years ago… on my 30th birthday! #bestandworst

  20. I was thinking how lovely your glossy dark hair is without a single trace of a grey hair! I’m 36 and I definitely feel comfortable in my own skin and my instincts are fine tuned! Age is a privilege that not everyone has so it’s great that we are all embracing it. #Globalblogging

  21. Ha ha, at 37 I am a definite light weight. I’ve also never been able to walk in heels. I wore some new ones recently and just the walk downstairs from the hotel room to the in house restaurant was agony and my feet burned all the way through dinner. As soon a we got sat at the bar afterwards they came off ?

  22. There are some great learning points here. Although I have to disagree on the heels. I have just turned 50 and resolutely refuse to chuck out my heels. You can’t give up yet! Everyone has one embarrassing story – hope you have recovered. #GlobalBlogging

  23. Love this,. I’m a total lightweight too and I do think age brings with it confidence, the more you experience in life, the more you realise what matters. Well done for quitting smoking, I remember reading you had quit, so glad you’ve stuck to it x

  24. As a fellow ex-smoker, I agree with all your thoughts on smoking. Also grey hair and makeup, or rather lack of it. #GlobalBlogging

  25. Haha, definitely as you get older you get the more can’t be arsed feelings, which I thoroughly enjoy as it is so liberating X #brilliantblogposts

  26. Confidence grows. Metabolism shrinks. Would that it were the other way around! #stayclassymama

  27. I turn 30 next year and am actually looking forward to it as I already am so much more aware of who I am, like you say, and more confident in that #globalblogging

  28. I came to the same conclusions once I turned 30. I think that these years are the most comfortable that I have ever felt. I’m happy with me and my life. #ThatFridayLinky

  29. Oh Rach ! I can resonate with several with these. Ha!! Popping over from #ThatFridayLinky

  30. Pen

    Oh my goodness, I am such a terrible light weight. I don’t know how it happened. Twice already this year, I have been really pleased that I put laminate flooring quality paint in my toilet. Projectile vomit goes a long way, but at least with laminate floors a dettol wipe will do the trick. Pen x #thatfridaylinky

  31. Oh I feel all of these… the unsocialableness (is that even a word?) but the confidence… this is one thing i’ve noticed. I thought it might be the inner lioness coming out having become a mum 6 months prior. But i think its an age thing. Im so much more confident in myself and who gives a fuck for Janet sticking her nose in – she only wants the latest gossip anywho! #globalblogging

  32. Nige

    Well Rach my 30’s are gone just a small tip the grey hairs get worse in your 40’s haha! Fab read as usual x Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  33. Emily

    Happy 30th! I turned 30 earlier this year too! Fab post – also I can’t walk in heels either! Thanks for linking up to #TheFridayLinky

  34. We’re practically the same age! I was 31 in April… So I know exactly how you’re feeling… I actually never wear make-up (Anymore) 🙂

    I do love that nowadays I feel ZERO need to validate myself to anyone, given the extra confidence I have now. At the minute I’m also embracing the grey I’m finding in my beard, you probably have that too right?!

    Great read Rach 🙂


  35. Lol! Another brilliant post. I agree with a lot of it but in particular with how much more confident I am in my 30’s and being way more cynical. When it comes to grey hair though I have had them since my teenage years so totally over it now! Thank you for sharing with #StayClassymama

  36. I can relate to ALOT of these points and I’m not far off 40 now! I love my bed, gave up alcohol completely in my 30’s, can’t be arsed alot of the time and I’m useless in heels! #bloggerclubuk

  37. Wendy

    I’m 25 and can’t walk in heels..really hoped I would be able to one day but it doesn’t look likely! I already love my bed more than going out and I am a serious lightweight already..who knows what will happen when I’m in my 30s!xx #bestandworst

  38. This made me smile, I feel it all too, but more as I turn 50 this year. I’m loosing the grey hair battle and my high heels have dust on them, I still can’t bring myself to give them away though, it is as if the Fairies will somehow make me young again and I’ll try and wear them! #BloggerClubUK

  39. The more I read the more I love you…And yes, the expectations of people should always be very low…#bloggerclubuk

  40. Is it wrong that I laughed my ass off at this? My wife was out with some of the other moms that we’ve met through kindergarten and came home all ticked off that she had to spend the whole night babysitting. Usually she is the one that the booze sneaks up on and kicks in the ass. Why the hell did he call your mom? #brilliantblogposts

  41. Yes, yes and yes!
    I used to be such a people pleaser and wanted everyone to “like” me in my 20’s. And now, I really couldn’t care if I was missing out and am much more confident in myself!

  42. Finn

    I think that the overall message is that as we get older we learn and relax into just being ourselves regardless of what others think or say, and quite right too. We are all individuals with different preferences, strengths and weaknesses and we should all be comfortable with who we are. Sadly our society pressurises us all to conform to someone’s idea of a norm, and it is only as we grow older and grow in confidence that we realise that that is all nonsense. So good for you, keep being you and finding more ways to being you whether they fit what others think or not. #Brilliantblogposts

  43. Sadie

    I cringed along with you in your tale of…overindulgence. I have one I’m ashamed of, from at a festival which included having to get my favourite hoodie cut up the length of the sleeve so they could give me IV fluids…not quite at 30, but close enough to it to be even more mortifying. I blame the price of booze at festivals – I wouldn’t have had to smuggle in my own vodka if they charged more reasonable prices.
    I am also one of those ex-smokers…

  44. hahaa I’m sorry but the last one made me laugh. Don’t change!! I think I’m more unsociable and go out less (that could just be kids though). Haven’t seen a grey yet but that could be the red hair!! You do seem more comfy in yourself though which is great! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  45. Rich Fountain

    As usual a very entertaining read and drunkenness I can relate to when in my thirties I lasted one hour on my birthday night out after being presented with a pint of shorts to drink in one. Ended up over a mates shoulder and driven home in the back of a builders van !! I love finding stories I can relate to when reading your blogs ?

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