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Bra Wars

I’ve never been blessed in the tit department.

Actually, that’s not strictly true.

There’s been 2 occasions in my life I’ve had what I’d call an ample bosom.

The first occasion was when I was overweight. My boobs were HUGE.  But so were other parts of my body so that doesn’t really count.

The second occasion was 4 days post-partum. My milk had just come in (I hate that expression), I was attempting to breastfeed and they looked fake.  That’s the only word to describe them.  They looked like I’d just left a Harley Street clinic (other augmentation providers available).  I couldn’t stop staring at them.  It was almost like my teenage prayers had been answered.

I abandoned my breastfeeding endeavours a week after I’d given birth. Something I’ve written about in detail on my blog before.  With the help of cabbage leaves they soon deflated back to their previous size and if truth be told, I was actually quite pleased to see my tits of old.

When I was younger; I’m talking late teens, I wanted a boob job. It was something I toyed with on and off for a couple of years but I never had the guts to take the plunge and go under the knife.

In 2011 and 2012 I lost a shit load of weight. I’m talking 5 stone plus.  I got down to a teeny tiny weight, a weight that if I’m being totally candid; was too light.  My boobs totally disappeared.  I was left with the bee stings I had when I was in my early to mid-teens.  But it didn’t bother me at the time, I was just happy to be that slim.

I’m now a healthy weight. I’d like to tone up.  Seriously tone up.  But I also like my bed and my junk food.  It’s a paradox.  It’s a struggle.

My current boobs are meh. That’s the best way to describe them.  They’re not teeny tiny but they’re not exactly bountiful either.  But they are what they are and I’m accepting of that.

What I am not accepting of however, are bras.

I HATE THEM.

I fucking hate them with a passion.

Thus, I’ve decided. I’m banishing the bra.  I’m binning the brasseries. I’m shying away the support.

I’m currently 3 days into my bra detox and I’ll tell you what, I’m feeling pretty damn good.

There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING I love more at the end of the day than unhooking my feminine garment and letting my tits go free. What a feeling, releasing myself from boob prison.   I’d bottle it if I could.

I feel so restricted in a bra. So uncomfortable.  And, to tell you the truth, I don’t really think I need one.

Of course, there will be times I will have to wear one. It would be wholly unfair to step into the office sans bra.  There are some clothes that hang in my wardrobe that simply demand a bra.  And that is just a fact of life I cannot escape from.  However, on the whole, I’m pretty confident I can get through the majority of my week without having to adorn those uncomfortable contraptions.

I was meandering around M&S today. I do love a good meander around Marks & Sparks, their clothing line has seriously improved in recent years.  I had a look at the underwear.  I’m a woman of simplistic tastes when it comes to my undergarments.   I like big pants.  I’m talking pants that are up to my belly button and practically down by my knees.  They are 2 sizes bigger than my normal clothing size and I simply couldn’t be without them.   I don’t do sexy lingerie.  It’s just not my thing.  Comfort over sexiness every damn time.

Anyway, I’m looking at photos of Rosie Huntington Whiteley, she who goes to bed with Jason Statham every night and has a body that looks like it’s been sculpted by angels. She’s posing in the M&S lingerie and she’s looking pretty phenomenal.  She doesn’t look uncomfortable.  She looks like she’s loving life.  The complete opposite to how I look or feel when I’m strapped up in one of those vile over the shoulder boulder holders.

I wouldn’t want your job love.  Not that I’d ever be considered for it.

Whenever I’m wearing a bra, I’m constantly fidgeting with it. I’m shuffling about “up there” and counting down the hours until I can whip the bad boy off.

I’m hoping to embark on an intense fitness regime soon (it’s always soon, it’s always in the future, never now). I know, you rolled your eyes so hard it’s a surprise to you that they’ve not got stuck in that position.  However, whenever I lose weight or tone up the first thing that disappears are always the tits.  It’s never the gut or the arse or the arms it’s always the tits.  So, with this in mind, I’m hoping that the necessity for a bra will diminish as quickly as my wobbly bits.

I’m ready to embrace my inner Charlie Dimmock (Google her if you’re under the age of 25).

This Post Has 31 Comments

    1. Lisa

      Haha, that’s a comment I wasn’t expecting to see, Tony 😉

      Rach, great post, made me chuckle almost as much as Tony’s comment. I’m afraid to say I’m the opposite of you, I love my bra and it absolutely has to match my pants (well you never know when you might get knocked down by a bus) and I do love sexy undies, though they’re not very practical. You embrace your bralessness though, be free girl!

  1. Clair

    Love it Rachel. I am a big knicker girl myself but I wouldn’t want to without a bra. Underwiring is my best friend ??

  2. I’d be far too concerned about visible nips to ditch the bra!! I swear mine have a life of their own, probably like a teenage boy and an erection!

  3. Kat

    I love it how open and fun you’ve written about our ‘why they have to be locked up’? beautiful parts 🙂 I’ve hated these metal round insert cup for a long time and have been wearing this kind of bikini tops (with triangle) for years, then tree years without YEh!!! now i’ve find a shape that’s just like a sports bra without metals and light. For now! And this morning I left without bra without even realising 🙂 Go for it girl and feel free !!

  4. Aaah there really is nothing like that feeling of freedom at the end of the day! Haha. Unfortunately, I was rather over-blessed in the boob department (!) and so the bra-banishment thing is not really an option (boo) #stayclassymama

  5. RawMum

    I hate them too but recently found a happy medium with non-wired bras. Much more comfy and still pretty. But yeah… hot days… nope to the bra! #pocolo

  6. The kids have destroyed my tiny littla tatas. Now they are zilch. I have to wear bras that are so heavily padded they would probably stop a speeding bullet.

    OS- you are my blogcrush over at lucyathome this week.

    #fridayfrolcis

  7. I agree there is little better than undoing the bra at the end of the day but I could never go braless in public. #POCOLO

  8. I hate/loathe/despise/any other word that conveys my feelings about the over the shoulder bolder holder!!! I have gotten to the point that if I do have to wear one its a sports bra! Which is funny because I’m not at all athletic, but thats not important here…

    #blogcrush

  9. Emma

    Haha, I hate booby prison too. As soon as I am in for the night I whip the bra off and get comfy. I’m also a big knicker girl. My mother was horrified when she somehow found out that I had some of my big pregnant knickers still. She has warned me that Mr C will cheat on me unless I wear skimpy knickers and bras. I have told her that me and skimpy are not a good look. I love my big kickers though, so comfortable! It’s all about the comfort.

  10. Hilarious! Glad I’m not the only one who thinks bras are over-rated! I’m all for a bit of coverage but these lace and wire contraptions? Not likely! Loved reading this – I’m following you now! #PoCoLo

  11. I have ‘more than a ‘handful’. The kind that prohibit me from running anywhere for fear of black eyes. Bras kind of stop me tripping over them! I do love that sense of relief when you take it off. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  12. Tubbs

    I would go braless, but suspect that it wouldn’t end well or be particularly comfortable. So I’m sticking with my M&S Minimisers.

  13. Haha I just couldn’t do it not with my boobs…..geeezz! I would love a boob job, can’t justify it though, hmmphhh. Enjoy your braless time though love!! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst

  14. I would literally knock myself out or someone in my vicinity if I went braless! Actually, that could be quite a good thing…..heh, you! Your are annoying me…bam…sorted! Yes…..although at work that could be an issue. Great post! Haha. I just wish I could go everywhere in my PJ,s. Is that allowed? #blogcrush

  15. I hate bra’s….I wish it was socially acceptable for me to go out without one but I have more than my fair share of boob and they’re saggy (thanks kids).

  16. Pen

    My breasts are not my strong feature. They are small, but are still lopsided (my left is bigger than the right – noticeably bigger when naked). I couldn’t ditch the bra because the padding hides the lopsidedness. I get what you mean about taking your bra off in the evening to relax though. I definitely get you. The wire is so uncomfortable. Pen x #FridayFrolics

  17. Unfortunately this is not something I could consider, having fairly large boobs. My weight has some to do with it, but even when losing weight I tend to have big ones. I need the support, but I do wish I could do without sometimes.
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo

  18. I don’t bother with a bra if I don’t have to either – it’s far more comfy! #bestandworst

  19. Hehe I hope your bra-less revolution is going well! I’m just popping back because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

  20. YAS I want to do this but I don’t know if I could go into work without a bra, and sadly I’m at work the majority of the week. Now that I’m thinking about it I might be able to get away with it with some of my shirts, I love this idea and want to do it ASAP. Totally agree they are in a prison ! Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama

  21. Haha. I’m kind of indifferent on the bra front – I neither hate nor love wearing them. I do find it annoying that they don’t all fit the same though! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

  22. October 3, 2014, was the last day I wore a bra. They’re not even good for you! Thankfully, I don’t really need one… but that aside, they are free, all day, at the beginning of the day, at the end of the day. Freedom is good. You will love it! Perhaps that is Victoria’s Secret? #ablogginggoodtime xoxo

  23. I am sitting hear reading this with no bra on and laughing because this is so me! I am actually fully dressed for the day, make up on, hair done, earnings but I am not wearing a bra and I often don’t. I have candle in my kitchen that my father in law gets embarrassed about that says ‘home is wear the bra comes off’, but if he only knew I hardly wear them out either so I am all for your new choice! I hate them, they are so uncomfortable, and when I occasionally find one I love I don’t want to wear it out too quick so i only wear it when the outfit calls for it. Like you say ether are outfits you HAVE to wear a bra with, I don’t want to offend anyone with my nipples showing lol. I am actually a D cup, but weirdly my boobs have never known the affects of gravity well yet anyway. I have one girlfriend who is the same and has perky boobs and our there friends hate us. If I have to wear something I prefer a gym work out crop top they are much more comfy. I do have some sexy lingerie but that comes off pretty quick so the discomfort is not too bad (too much information)! Thanks for linking up #abloggingggodtime

  24. haha … google charlie dimock! Love that! Is she still around. I also had massive tits when I was huge. Also when I breastfed both my very hungry babies, the result is that they are tiny now, tiny and floppy. I hate them. I also hate bras, and even struggle to find one that’s broad enough across the back with the tiniest cup size possible. It’s a nightmare. great post.
    #ablogginggoodtime

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